THE OWL, OWLESS, AND THE REST

STORY NO:2

Something caught my attention after I had finished my candy. The papers in which it was wrapped had something written on them. And what did I see on the first line? ‘He was a dunce.’ I really like dunces. I read all the stories about them I can get. And ‘was a dunce’ suggested a story. Who wrote that story? Some student, that was certain. And the papers? They were the answer sheets from an examination. The first was titled ‘page 7’. You see the ‘he was a dunce?’ That was the answer to the third question. How did I know that? The next line had the fourth question.

Students usually write only the answers, but this student had written the questions too. This was one such question and answer:

Question 4. Write an account of your experiences with the owl. 

Answer. ‘Sir, I have had many experiences with the owl. There was a father – owl and a mother – owl in my house. And may I say something in between, Sir. The owl is a type of creature. The human being is a creature too. I am a human. So that means I am an owl. And the owl is me. My uncle asked me once: “Is the owl an animal or a bird?”  I  answered : “The owl is an animal and a bird.” I once went to the mother – owl. There were seventeen owlets there! My uncle said: “These are the children the mother – owl gave birth to last night.” I watched the owlets drink their mother’s milk. It was a delightful sight! The owlets did not have wings then. At 4o’clock sharp the owlets sprouted three wings each. And as soon as their wings sprouted, the mother – owl flew away. Then the father – owl brought the owlets up lovingly.

The next day my uncle said: “The male owl is called the ‘owl’ and the female is called the ‘owless.’ ” There were seventeen owlets in my house. Twelve out of that were male and eleven were female. I call each male ‘owl’ and each female ‘owless.’

My courtyard has a coconut tree, a mango tree and a jackfruit tree. Our owls and owlesses did not settle on the coconut tree. Nor did they sit on the jackfruit tree. They only sat on the mango tree. They relished the mangoes. Those mangoes were so sour. We don’t eat those mangoes. Our teeth would have soured. But the owl’s teeth never soured. One day, my uncle disclosed some facts. He had opened the beaks of owls and owlesses and looked inside. He saw three rows of teeth. Each row had twelve and three fourth teeth. None else has such big and sharp teeth. But, the owls’ teeth were nothing compared to my uncle’s!

My owls and owlesses stay awake the whole morning. I had a doubt. Did they sleep at night? I went and looked one night. Yes, they were all asleep. They slept with one eye open, and the other closed.

Sir, there was another Sir before you came. He said that owls and owlesses meditated. I wanted to see if it was true. Then I discovered that the owls and owlesses meditated together. They meditated from quarter past fifteen o’clock to sixteen thirty. It was around that time that I read an article. It seems some owls in America have three legs. Some owls in New Zealand have four heads. They walk pressing all their four heads to the ground. Owl’s milk is very good for human health.

Sir, I tried that too. Not just me. My uncle too. We drank owl’s milk for one week without fail. The results were instant. My uncle, who was thin like a sack of rice, grew fat like a stick. And I, who was fat like a stick, became thin like a sack of rice. Owl’s milk is sweet like salt. It is deep green in color. Even if it is all that…

With that the answer ended. Actually it hadn’t ended. The ninth page of the answer sheet had ended. It would be a delightful tale about owls in the tenth page! ‘Even if it is all that…’. Wasn’t that the ending of the ninth page? The student’s name was not written on the paper. Among you readers out there, does anybody know this student? If you do, send me your name and address. It would be a great favor. I could contact the student for the rest of the story.